Author: Henry

Bloomberg’s performance in his first debate was a non-performance. Was he a deer in the headlights, or a posh autocrat genuinely surprised by insubordination from the riff-raff?

It’s hard to tell, because he was very passive in the face of some blistering personal attacks. Of course, if you’re being nailed for sexism and racism, I guess there are few good retorts.  

“Good one, Elizabeth, but you’re just a histrionic woman, so who cares!” (No, he didn’t say that).

On the other hand, a multi-billionaire scoffing at plans for correcting financial inequality didn’t work, either. 

“This is ridiculous…we tried that…it was called communism.”(Yes, he said that. And nope, we never tried communism). 

So, calm down, Mr. Mayor, and get ready for the next debate.

On the other hand, maybe Bernie and Elizabeth and Pete could calm down a little bit, too. It’s one thing to deride an economic system where people live paycheck to paycheck, hold two, even three, jobs to survive, and where inequality is a real and devastating problem. And it’s one thing to attack politicians who lie, cheat and steal to accumulate their wealth. 

But it’s entirely another thing to attack people who have achieved wealth honestly. 

What’s wrong with being that kind of billionaire? I’d love to be one. I’d like my kids to be billionaires – the whole family, my friends, my neighbors.

When I was in my formative years, being a millionaire was the height of success. Of course, that was when a dime bought you a cup of coffee. Today coffee is twenty times that at Starbucks. Which explains why Howard Schultzis a $3 billionaire. 

Billionaires are the new millionaires. Inflation. 

But billionaires are now bad guys if they run for President, at least according to Sanders, Warren, Buttigieg, and others.

I don’t know how much he spent on the first Presidential campaign, but George Washington was one of the richest guys of that era. So were Jefferson and many of the early Presidents, except for Adams. 

That was way before millionaires. (I wonder if they were called “hundredaires” or “thousandaires” then.)  

Politicians weren’t automatically hated for their money until recently. In fact, Roosevelt was loved by most of the country. Not so last week where “billionaire” became an epithet.

Buttigieg- “A billionaire who thinks that money ought to be

the root of all power”. 

Warren – “A billionaire who calls women “fat broads” and “horse-faced lesbians” and, “Democrats take a huge risk if we just substitute one arrogant billionaire for another.”

Sanders – “billionaires like Mr. Bloomberg seeing huge expansions of their wealth while a half-a-million people sleep out on the street tonight.” He also accused Buttigeig of being support by “46 billionaires.”

I could understand their anger if Bloomberg had gotten his money by lying, cheating, stealing, and self-dealing like a Mafia Don. But he didn’t. He went from paperboy to billionaire by following the rules. 

Until recently, that was the American Dream.  

Bill Gates is another example. He made his fortune by bringing something new to the table. Ditto Steve Jobs and Elon Musk. Jeff Bezos is worth $150 billion because he invented a new retail model. Warren Buffet made $88 billion by sage investing.

There’s an irony to this piling on. With “Citizens United”, the Supreme Court opened the floodgates of money from corporations to buy and control politicians.  Now comes a guy with so much money he doesn’t need “Citizens United” money. He cannot be bought – or controlled – by anyone.  

And he’s attacked for having the money to remain independent.

There are lots of reasons to vote against Bloomberg: “stop and Frisk”, arrogance, old-school sexism, lack of charisma, lack of empathy for the poor, among others. 

But working your way up from paperboy to billionaire shouldn’t be one of them.

It looks like the Democratic Presidential contenders, those who a left, are locked and loaded, ammunition at the ready.

The ammunition against Bernie is his age, his angry-old-man, no-compromise rhetoric, his free college, free healthcare, housing for the homeless, lack of support for gun control … 

For Warren, it’s her age, her “fight!, fight!, fight!” rhetoric, free college and healthcare, taxing people with over $50 million net worth, increasing taxes on corporations…

There’s Mayor Pete’s youth, his candor about being gay, his unpopularity with blacks and hispanics, his small city government experience…

Amy Klobuchar has ideas that are solid, but not exciting, a reputation of spewing vitriol at her staff, a record of over-zealous prosecuting of blacks when she was a county attorney…

Tom Steyer has no political experience, none. He does have a lot of money, but as of this writing, only 2% backing nationally…

Tulsi Gabbard has less than 1% backing, so…

And then there’s aging Joe Biden, he who was on the wrong side of the school busing issue, the guy with the longest career in politics, but that includes some big mistakes, and who looked like a deer in the headlights during some the debates. Oh, and his numbers are melting like ice cream on a summer day… 

And finally, there is the really, really, really old rich guy, Mike Bloomberg, the one who made “stop and frisk” famous, the guy with a history of racist and sexist comments, the one is trying to buy his way into the Presidency one hundred million at a time… 

Those are the candidates and at least some of the ammunition each is firing at the others. The common flaw: not one is perfect.

The sniping has increased in recent days as moderate democrats shake in their boots at the possibility that Bernie might go all the way and liberals shake in their boots at the possibility he won’t. Both extremes shake and shiver at the lack of democracy in a billionaire – their billionaire, to be sure – actually blowing every other Democratic candidate away, like leaves on a front porch. It seems so incongruous to them, a Democratic billionaire. Not since Franklin Roosevelt has a Democrat come from big money.

And through it all, Trump’s people are quietly hoping the fighting continues, just as it did in 2016. But now, instead of just Hillary and Bernie taking each other down, all of them taking all of them down. It’s a Republican dream: a repeat of the bitter anger that depressed Democratic turnout and left an astonished Trump alone at the finish line.

And that will happen, unless the Democrats disengage their circular firing squad.

Here’s a novel idea for Democratic candidates: concentrate on what you can and will do for the country instead of what others can’t or won’t do. 

Bernie’s idea of universal healthcare isn’t new; it’s already successful in numerous other countries. He has, for years, worked on legislation with both Democrats and Republicans. He’s genuine, authentic.

Warren’s plans are well thought out and will help solve many national problems. She, too, is the real deal.

Klobuchar is highly electable, smart, and pragmatic.

Pete is clearly brilliant and part of the next generation of leaders.

Steyer is self-made and laser focused on Climate Change- THE problem of our time, heck of all time.

Bloomberg is self-made and has successfully governed the biggest city in the country.

Biden has real experience on the national and international stage, has been there and done that for decades, with grace and civility. 

Gabbard… Ok, not much there, compared to the others.

The common asset: they’re all good.

As each competes by targeting the others’ flaws, they are fully capable of convincing voters that not one of them is good enough to be President, that Democratic voters should just throw up their hands and walk away as many did in 2016. Trump’s dream.

They are also capable of choosing the person who, although not perfect, will do the most good for the country, who will solve, not all, but many of the myriad problems we face as a nation and a world. 

And a great example why perfect is the enemy of good.

Most of you may not know it yet, but it looks like Trump is going to win the presidency again. I know; it’s a surprise. But it’s what the Trump people tell me.

They’ve also offered to help us adjust and move on with life, which is nice, don’t you think?

Where most of us were brought up with traditional American values, such as George Washington’s respect for truth (“I cannot tell a lie”), and Lincoln’s aversion to stealing and cheating (walking miles to return a man’s change), Trump has forged his success in life by following his own value system: lying, cheating, and stealing.

So, to help us and future generations adjust to the America’s new “Trump Culture”, he has instructed his Secretary of Education, Betsy Devos, to design courses for elementary, high school, and college in LCS: Lying, Cheating, and Stealing.

She has immediately bent to the task.

One offering in LCS for elementary schools is titled: “The Dog Ate My Homework”. In this course children will be encouraged to skip their homework and then to come up with better lies than the old “the dog ate my homework”. 

For example: blaming someone else (“my Mom spilled her bottle of wine on it” or “my father used it for potty training my big brother”). 

Then there is the Fox News’ “What about…? ” technique:  (“What about Charlie? He skipped his homework once last year!”), or  “What about Miss B’s class – she says homework is optional”). 

Any student who comes up with Trump’s famous elementary school response, “What are you talking about? I already turned it in. You gave me a A!” – also gets an A.

The high school courses are a bit more challenging. In the class “Founding a Charitable Foundation”, for example, students are instructed to collect money for charities, then use the money for themselves instead of giving it to the people who need it. What they actually buy doesn’t matter, although hiring an artist to do a portrait of oneself gets extra credit.

As you might expect the LCS college courses are even more demanding. One first year “Work-Study” program, for example, challenges students to follow in the master’s path. They are given $10,000 dollars and told to hire a contractor (any kind – house painter, plumber, builder) to do a job (say, renovate the classroom), and then, once it is completed, tell the contractor they did a lousy job and refuse to pay. 

Justice Department lawyers will defend students from lawsuits and countersue recalcitrant contractors for abuse to minors. 

Graduate level LCS courses combine many of the lessons learned at lower levels with some independent work. 

Masters candidates are required to get elected to local political office by instilling fear in the populace. Then, once elected, they have six months to bring town morale to new lows and turn voters against each other. Six months may sound a little demanding, but these courses are preparations for life in Trump Culture, don’t forget, and excellence in Lying, Cheating, or Stealing is key to success.

Ph.D level LCS courses offer independent study under the guidance of experts in the field. 

VP Mike Pence will teach a course in ignoring what’s right in front to your face. He will escort students to various US Border Patrol locations where they will see and participate in separating children from their parents and forcing them into detention centers where they are given Emergency Thermal Blankets for warmth, limited medical support, and inadequate food, water, and sanitation. Students will be graded on their ability to ignore their consciences and extol the sanctity of these places, all the while wearing a beatific smile.

Secretary of State Mike Pompeo is currently designing course in Russian Foreign Policy. Little is known at this point, but it is tentatively titled ““Playing up to Putin”. They expect strong attendance, as President Trump may give some lectures himself.

Attorney General Bill Barr will teach a course on the Power of The Presidency. It is a lecture course, only. No discussion.

It is unconfirmed at this point, but rumor has it that the Military Academies with be introducing a new required LCS course:  “Deserting Allies On The Battlefield”. 

Now, I know some of you may find this news disturbing, even reprehensible. You may simply not believe it. 

If so, I think that’s sad, frankly, very sad. 

I mean, would I lie to you?

One of the beauties of sport is its ability to take our minds off of other things, big or little, from a bad war to bad hair. Last weekend, the death of Kobe Bryant had that effect. It drove other news off the front pages and brought much of the nation together to mourn for a guy who personified hard work, professional success, and the joy of family and fatherhood. 

For a few moments in time, it brought a feeling of unity back to the country.

Forgotten was war with Iran, climate change, the wealth gap, healthcare, race and other “isms”, the alienation of numerous allies, the coming election, and, yes, even the Impeachment of Donald What’s-His-Name.

Kobe Bryant’s death allowed us turn away from the politics of fear and anger toward a single, shared loss. The sadness we felt was pure, clean, untainted by the bitter, cultural divide that has split the country.  

But within hours, reality roared back to the front page. John Bolton brought a smoking gun to the Impeachment trial: his eye witness account of Trump’s attempt to coerce Ukraine’s President Zelenski into investigating Joe and Hunter Biden.  

Besides undercutting one of Trump’s key arguments, that all evidence against him was “hearsay”, it supported the obstruction charge: that his use of Executive Privilege to block subpoenas was akin to the Mafia threatening witnesses and his threats to destroy Republican politicians who didn’t defend him were equivalent to the Mafia threatening judges.

Argh, we seemed to feel! Can we please mourn in peace, at least for a day or two?

Maybe the purity of sport is only for weekends or special occasions. Sport has neat beginnings and ends, clear winners and losers. Sport heroes, although sometimes more complex than the sport itself (OK, except for Lou Gehrig or Joe Dimaggio), also offer clarity. Winning the World Series is good; cheating to do so is bad. 

Kobe Bryant’s life, even with its failures, gave us something good to feel bad about.

The form of government that spawned him (and our President), democracy, is messy, “the worst form of government …except all the others that have been tried”, as Winston Churchill famously noted.

Jill Lepore, a Harvard history professor, recently wrote a brilliant history of democracy in the US. These Truths underscores one ironic root of our democracy, the juxtaposition of Jefferson’s lofty  “all men are created equal” in the Declaration of Independence, with the fact that he and other signers also owned slaves.  

It is her contention that we have been struggling with that dichotomy ever since. 

The Constitutional Convention tried to ameliorate it with a compromise that assigned blacks 3/5ths the value of whites.  Eventually we fought a war over the issue, freeing those 3/5th Americans to do whatever they choose, like becoming basketball stars… or Presidents (well, legally).

Democracy can be messy like that. Take truth, for example.

What they call “the art” of politics is the ability to skip key facts that reveal truth, to obfuscate truth, or just change the subject and avoid truth altogether. These are legal lies. 

Legal lies are OK. Direct lies are not OK – or weren’t until recently. 

In recent decades, as the “non-art” of politics took over the country, public confidence in political leaders has dropped far below that of our sports heroes. For example, we now keep a running count of our current President’s lies (7688 as of December 2019).  

Maybe one reason for the drop in confidence is the way politicians react to dishonesty compared to how athletes and sports team owners react to it. After it was revealed that the Houston Astros and the Boston Red Sox stole signs from the Dodgers during the 2017 and 2018 World Series, a slew of managers and coaches were fired by the Astros and the Red Sox. Minimal discussion, maximum consequences. Why? Because the team owners want baseball fans to have faith in the integrity of the game.

Watching the Impeachment unfold is wearing on us. The depth of the rift that now divides the country is depressing. Knowing the outcome will do little to heal that rift is disheartening. 

Better to mourn the loss of a sports hero than the loss of faith in democracy.

It is Playoff Sunday. I am watching the Titans-Chiefs game with my sister. Around five pm, she decides two things: first, the two of us aren’t sufficiently animated to do justice to the game (we both want Coach Andy Reid to win as a payback for the Eagles firing him in 2012 for not winning a playoff game – the same year his son died), and second, we’re hungry. 

So we go to a restaurant where there is great food and, it turns out, plenty of very animated football fans, one in particular. 

We walk up to the bar and see two seats, but they’re not together; they are bracketing a trio of very big guys in front of a huge screen carrying the Titans – Chiefs game. 

My sister gives me a “Do something, Doofus!” look.

Being the macho guy I am, I gingerly ask the guy at the end – the smallest of the three, the one with grey hair, if they would mind moving down a seat because my sister wants to sit next to me.

Instead of growls and hisses, they smile and immediately move. We shake hands all around. The old guy’s grip is ‘Ouch!” strong. (Ok. I guess some old people need to do that.)

He has an infectious smile, “let her sit next to me. She’s way better looking.” 

I watch the game as he starts to charm my sister. (What a Bozo. No way is she going to deal with 70 year old guy).

The Chiefs score. I cheer. The old guy and his buddies cheer. 

Later, I hear the old guy telling my sister,  “90. I am 90 years old.” 

I do a double take. 

“Well preserved! That’s me!” That infectious smile again. My sister looks at me. 

“90?” I ask him.

“Yep. Divorced three times. And I have a 44 year old fiancee!” 

(Right. And I’m trying out for the Eagles next year.)

I look at his friend. He nods. “Absolutely true. I know her. She’s 44.”

“And” says the old guy, cupping his hands far in front of his chest, “well endowed! Who says 90’s too old!” 

The friend nods again. “I met Bill a few years ago. He was playing jazz piano in a nightclub. Really great”.

The old guy grabs his friend’s arm, “And Rob sings jazz. Specializes in Sinatra songs. Rob Patrick. Remember that name.” 

“Yeah. Bill backs me up sometimes. When I’m lucky.” 

Bill puts on a serious face, “I’ve been married three times. 7 kids. I hate them all”. A quick wink.

We laugh. My sister asks to see his license. He shows it to her. She looks at it in silence then shows it to me. It says he was born in 1929.

Now Bill is laughing like a kid. And I’m starting to believe the 44 year old fiancee story. 

He gives us his card. “William Y. Marcus, MD.” (He’s a doctor, too!?)

I look at the back of the card: “former surgeon, former gymnast, former jazz pianist, present bon vivant.”

I decide to steal that line someday.

The Chiefs win the game and we all cheer.  I talk to Rob. He looks about 35 to me. He tells me about working as an agent for ATF for 20 years and retiring a few years ago. He’s 58. 

(58! Do these guys take youth pills?)

The 49ers-Packers game starts. It’s a hard choice, because I like Aaron Rogers, but I go with San Francisco.

The third person is Rob’s son. He looks 26 years. And is!  

As the game goes on Bill Marcus, MD offers some nuggets:

“Most surgeons won’t admit it, but we make mistakes. I used to feel really guilty when I screwed up. But one day, I thought to myself, ‘I did my best. I’m not perfect’. After that I felt better.”

And, “It’s all about living well. Too many people try to outdo everyone else. That’s not living.”

And my favorite, “Remarrying is hope over experience.”

The 49ers win, setting me up for a really difficult two weeks trying to decide whom to root for in the Super Bowl.

Rob gives us a couple of his CD’s.

As we leave the bar, for a moment the cynic in each of us wonders about this 90 year old. Is he really 90? Is his fiancee really 44? Did he really go from surgeon to gymnast to jazz pianist to…?

“Who cares?”, we realize. “It’s hope over experience.”