Dog/Man

Several benches ring a small tree lined meadow. Sitting at one of the benches is a man, not an old man, not particularly good looking man, not particularly stylish man. In fact, the kind of man people forget once they pass the bench. Near the man, with a leash trailing on the ground near the bench is a dog, not an old dog, not a particularly good looking dog, not a particularly stylish dog, the kind of dog people forget once they pass the bench. 

Dog: See that guy? He’s about to fall asleep. Which means I won’t get to walk for the next half hour, if that.

Man: See that dog? All he wants to do is walk. You’d think, at his age, he’d want to enjoy the spring weather. But N-o-o-o-o. Gotta walk!

The man gets up. The dog gets up. The man grabs the leash and heads out. The dog runs in front, pulling on the leash. Then, just as the man matches his pace, the dog stops to sniff, almost tipping the man head over teakettle. The man groans.

Dog: I mean why come to the park if you can’t sniff stuff. How else will you know if any other dogs have been here? Not to mention cats, birds, squirrels. A dog has to be careful. We never know when another dog – or cat or fox or bird or human – is going to attack. 

Man: I mean I’ve known this dog pretty much all his life. I take him to the park and he starts sniffing everything in sight and pulling me along with him. And then he suddenly yanks me backward to sniff something he missed.  As though there’s a difference between the grass around a bench and… um,  the grass around that tree.

Dog: Uh Oh. There’s another bench. Will he stop and rest? Please, no! …Whew! 

Man: If that dog doesn’t stop pulling me…!

Dog:  He needs exercise because he’s old. So, my job – one of many, by the way – is to take him on long walks. I could do 10 miles, but I don’t want to kill him… that would be the end of any walks.

Man: You see, if I don’t take him for a walk at least once a day, he gets lethargic, eats less and – I don’t know – dies earlier? In nature, they say wolves and foxes do 10 miles a day. So a mile or two worn’t hurt him. Plus he gets to sniff things. Sniffing is his aphrodisiac.

Dog: Humans are really handicapped in many ways. For example, they make all these stinky things – food, dead clothes, bathrooms,  perfume (ee-yuck!)- most of which they can’t even smell. Nature can be very kind. 

Man: I’ve always wondered why dogs smell so much. I know they have better noses than humans, but so what?  I’m pretty sure he sniffs everything to show me how mediocre my nose is.  Like he can find where another dog peed and, just from the smell, know the dog. Then, he pees on top of the other dog’s pee. Then another dog comes by and pees on his pee and… ad infinitem. Stupid macho stuff.  I grew out of being macho in my…um…50’s.

Just then a woman with a golden retriever approaches.

Dog: Uh Oh!  Big dog! 12 O’clock! Coming our way! Uh Oh!  Time to bark! Gotta warn my human! I have to! I have to!   He could take him down in two seconds!

Dog barks. Man reprimands.

Man: See, this is what I hate about walking this dog. He barks at every other dog. The bigger the dog, the louder he barks. That Golden? He’s as mellow as basket of junior mints. And the woman is too. And cute. They just breezed by us. Dammit!

Dog. You’d think he’d be grateful! But Oh No. He just makes all these loud sounds at me! Doesn’t he know I don’t speak human! What an ungrateful… I mean I scared that yellow killer off! By myself!  

They walk home. The man gives the dog a treat, then sinks into the couch with a glass of water. The dog circles on the rug 5-10 times before collapsing with his treat.

Man: He can be a pain, but he tries. And what a great buddy for a daily walk.  

“Good dog!”

Dog: He can be a pain, but he tries. And what a great buddy for a daily walk. 

“Good man!”

(If you like this, pass it on. If you don't, pass it on anyway. Why should you suffer alone?)

Remember Where You Were When Kennedy Got Shot?

It was the question of the era, a time when all things were possible, because we had come through WWII unscathed unlike the rest of the world, our industry expanding, wealth growing, international approval setting records. The world was our oyster.

And then the impossible happened: Kennedy was shot. I was living in an apartment with three other students at the time. One, from Dallas, walked in that morning, tears streaming at what his hometown had done. 

Walter Cronkite, David Brinkley and others talked us through it calmly and succinctly. Time seemed to halt as, first the country, then the world absorbed the news. It took quite awhile for routines to re-emerge.

I have no  idea where I was or what I was doing last week when that guy stormed the hotel and tried to kill Trump, the tenth attempt since Kennedy and the third just on Trump. Ho-hum.

No irony there.

The Second Amendment has turned assassination  – well, killing in general – from novel to ordinary. Nowadays, people take advantage of the right bear arms  just to defend themselves against other people who bear arms. 

No irony there.

The last war this country waged for universally good reasons – a “just” war, as they say – was WWII. We didn’t have to dream up reasons, having watched Hitler for a few years until Pearl Harbor opened the door. Afterward we basked in the glow of saving both Europe and Asia from some very bad people. 

The justifications for the next few wars are still being debated decades later.

The justification for the current one is being debated – by himself – by the guy who started it.

No irony there.

This is the same guy who decided oil and coal energy are good and wind energy is bad, climate change is “fake” and electric vehicles are stupid. So he started a war that put 20% of oil on hold, thereby raising gas prices in the US so high that EV’s are now selling like hot cakes.

No irony there.

The King of England, the country we revolted from when we  invented modern democracy, visits us on our 250th anniversary and subtly and artfully reminds us what democracy is. 

No irony there. 

“Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.” says Lady Liberty, as we chase down, lock up, and then eject those very masses.

No irony there.

News broadcasters, who once focussed on calm and precise language while presenting alarming news, now speak in frantic half-sentences to alarm people while presenting mundane news. 

No irony there.

As a result of all this, I recently started watching TV shows that feature genuinely nice protagonists in plots where good inevitably triumphs over evil. I go to streaming channels, then pull up IMDB on my computer so I can check a synopsis of various movies and shows – just to ensure I don’t see a scary moment or two, or a really depressing ending. 

When I find a good one with a high rating, I get my popcorn and settle in. 

You know why?  No irony there. At all.

(If you like this, pass it on. If you don't, pass it on anyway. Why should you suffer alone?)

The Day The Baltimore Fire Department Crashed The Wedding

Sometime in the 13th century, according to various myths, couples and coupling were discouraged by the Catholic Church. 

Until a priest named Valentine not only quietly supported them, he gave love a stamp of approval by marrying them. 

Eventually Emperor Claudius II found out and, in order to cut off this radical activity, cut off Valentine’s head.

But he was too late. Couples and coupling spread across the world, the Catholic Church caved and crowned Valentine a saint, and here we are nine centuries and 8 billion people later attending celebrations of love every day of the year.

Since I first saw you across the room at a beer hall, I knew that you were someone I wanted to know intimately.

St. Valentine was one very smart, loving guy. 

I choose you today, right now, and every day, every moment ever after.

That legend and tradition explains why one smart, loving coupe chose Valentine’s Day for their wedding.   

You bring out the best in me, and I admire the best of you.

This couple from Queens, NY looked for a venue midway between their family homes of Pennsylvania and Virginia.

I promise to support you, to be patient with you, to love and hold you, not because I want those things in return, but because to take care of you is one of the utmost pleasures of my existence.

They decided on Baltimore’s American Visionary Art Museum, a museum whose main feature is a 15 foot high poodle, amid other fun and somewhat goofy displays. 

You make me laugh unexpectedly and consistently. I promise not to bring home a new pet without discussing it with you first, even if that discussion is a polite formality.

Which might also describe the people who came to share the day with the couple.

Knock knock

who’s there

beaver

beaver who

beaver i get to my actual vows, …

You see, the groom is an artist, not to mention writer, coder, podcaster. And the bride is a writer and design publicist. That is why the room was filled with Rhode Island School of Design graduates and other creative types. One couple was dressed as 18th century English royalty, including wigs. A guy wore a jacket composed of different colored hearts (Valentine’s Day – get it?). A sister wore a hairpin with a flying pig, because, well, you know. 

I promise to watch lots of good, bad, and terrible movies with you. Except the horror movies – in those cases, I promise to quietly hang out in the other room.

This couple had no intention of conducting a somber “til death do us part” kind of event, although life commitment was there, just in current vernacular. The wedding was to be non-traditional and fun, informal and fun, emotional and… fun.

I promise to stand patiently while you pet every dog within reach.

And that’s exactly the kind of day it was. The wedding party’s walk down the aisle included dancing, skipping, trotting, everything but walking. There was no minister, just a longtime friend of the couple who offered laughs and insights. The couples’s vows were soft and sweet and funny and dear.

I swear this to you: If you’re blind, I’ll be your eyes. If you’re deaf, I’ll be your ears. If you can’t walk, I’ll get you where you need to go.  

Then, just as the Valentine’s Day, 2026 was winding down, someone smelled smoke, which inspired the crowd, including the DJ, to take the joy outside while the Baltimore Fire Department checked the inside. The firefighters’ “No Fire – No Problem” pronouncement triggered more celebration: of St. Valentine, the Baltimore Fire Department and, most memorably, the love of Korwin and Robyn.

Knock knock

who’s there

olive

olive who

olive you.

(If you like this, pass it on. If you don't, pass it on anyway. Why should you suffer alone?)

What Trump And His Followers Don’t Get

When the Pilgrims, the original white immigrants, came over from Europe to improve their lives, they had a rough time dealing with weather, wild animals,  corn, not to mention things like language and customs. The brown Native Americans had early trepidation, too, but then did something really nice; they welcomed and helped the immigrants adjust to their new environment. Both got along. In fact they actually celebrated a holiday together… with weird fowl!

This was before Apple Translator Earbuds.   

The comradery didn’t last though. Instead of melding with the existing culture, the white immigrants overpowered and overran the brown people, shoving them into small, not-so-nice corners of the land, to the point where, today, everybody, worldwide, considers the US a White people’s country. 

The next few waves of immigrants that entered the country to improve their lives were not met with the same welcome as the the original Americans.  

2 million Irish Christians came to the US from 1845 to 1852 to escape starvation and were greeted, not with a holiday dinner, but with bigotry. 4 million Italians (also Christian) fled poverty and government mayhem in the late 1800’s for the US. And, instead of warm welcomes, ran into bigotry. During the same time period, Jews arrived. And met bigotry. Later, East Asians met the same fate. 

WWII triggered additional waves of Europeans, mostly white,  including Jews, immigrants who also met walls of bigotry.   

(I haven’t mentioned the 17th century wave – of black people – because they weren’t immigrants; they were prisoners, kidnapped and brought into the country for economic reasons, which definitely did not improve their lives.)

In the middle of the 19th century, the US “annexed” (definition – take with military force) what is now both Texas and California in The Mexican American War. That “annexation” included millions of Christian, non-American, unwilling immigrants, if you will. 

Oh, and instead of white skin, theirs was brown which triggered…bigotry.

But guess what happened in each and every of these cases? 

Take a look at New York City, or any big city for the answer. In these places people from all over the world meld together. They become neighbors and co-workers. They may live in different areas, but they ride subways and busses together, and work at the same places, share jokes, even political opinions. They become barkeeps and cab drivers, doctors and lawyers, financiers and teachers, friends, lovers, family. In each case, the immigrants meld their culture into the current American culture. 

And their lives improve.

It’s been going on for over two centuries. That’s why we proudly call this country a “melting pot”. As people get to know each other, as “others” enter our culture, we get to know each other and bigotry melts away. Even better? These immigrants, their sons and daughters, grandchildren and more have bettered the country. From the original wave to Tesla, Einstein, Freud, Jonas Salk, Hedy Lamarr, Mila Kunis, and on and on and.…

More recently the immigration process for people south of our border has been a disaster. A primary cause: both Republican and Democratic administrations ignored a simple math problem: (too many immigrants seeking refuge) + (too few judges to decide whether they qualify for entry) = (millions attempting legal immigration being told to “Just come on in. Leave us a contact so we can call you back when judge has time”).

The immediate solution was more border patrols, more judges and courtrooms at the border. The long term solution was aid to countries suffering from climate change, dictatorships, and cartels. But none of these administrations put much effort into either.

So millions of immigrants are now in the US illegally and Trump Republicans, especially White Christian Nationalists, have become outraged at the impurity of it all.  So Trump’s ICE brutalizes immigrants and US citizens. Oh, and shoots them, killing three.

(It’s not a little ironic that Stephen Miller, Trump’s whisperer in this attempt to cleanse the country of brown-skinned immigrants, is of Jewish descent. Probably unaware of Hitler…or an avid student?).

Thousands and thousands of people in 23 states and 40 cities around the country have erupted at ICE. Noem erupted back. Then Trump and Noem’s boss, Homan, backed down, clearly stunned that so many Americans reacted with anger that ICE treated all brown skinned immigrants, including children, as killers and drug dealers.

And that, Mr. President and White Christian Nationalists Followers, is what you don’t get: Everyday Americans consider those people Americans, too. Every immigrant wave except the first, from Irish to Italian to East Asian to Jewish to Hispanic – and those in between – has melded into the American culture, a culture that defends and protects each other, even – especially – in the face of Gestapo tactics.

(If you like this, pass it on. If you don't, pass it on anyway. Why should you suffer alone?)

Truth, Justice, And The American Way

It’s Superman’s iconic motto. Corny? Maybe. But it spoke for most of the country at one time.

Superman first arrived as a comic book hero in 1938 when the Depression was ebbing ever so slowly, when Hitler was taking Czechoslovakia, then Poland, on his quest to take Europe and Russia in WWII. 

Life had a grim horizon.

The Superman motto was a pick-me-up after a financial tsunami that had spread waves of hunger and pain from the beaches to the plains to the mountains to the beaches of this country, from the Americas to Europe and Asia…and maybe Mars.

Superman helped in WWII, too, at least in the comic book world. He beat this stuffing out of bad guys and made little kids – and not a few grownups – feel better, like there was a chance of beating the devil. Which, eventually happened, just as Superman would have done it.

Truth, Justice, and the American Way  became a beloved slogan for decades.

Superman was just one of a long line of heroes created during the first two hundred or so years of this country.  From Kit Carson to Danial Boone to George Washington and more, historians glamorized stories of American heroes, people who fought and died for truth, justice, as they created the American Way. 

Fictionists in the 20th Century picked up the baton by creating new heroes like The Shadow, The Green Hornet, The Lone Ranger and the guy from a Galaxy far, far away. In every case, integrity and ethics, the rule of law, justice for all, the nobility of the individual, protection of the minority – the American Way – was threaded through the story lines like the steel wire that holds up bridges.

Much of it was an aspiration, our culture’s way of competing with the Greek and Roman myths. But it was also great inspiration: liars, cheats, and thugs were the exception, not the rule. 

Sure there were the Billy the Kids and Al Capones, but there were also Clara Bartons and Teddy Roosevelts, Sgt. Alvin Yorks, Amelia Earharts and Martin Luther Kings, Audi Murphys and Jonas Salks, Dwight Eisenhowers and Maya Angelous, and so many others who came to embody Truth, Justice and the American Way.

Then, sometime into the second century of this unique experiment, the myths began to lose luster. Truth, Justice and the American Way became first tired, then corny, then, more recently,  the object of cynicism and disdain. 

It may have started in the 50’s when Attorney Roy Cohn helped Senator Joe McCarthy use fear of communism and lies to attack the State Department, the Truman Administration, the Voice of America, and the US Army. They shook our faith in government like an infant in the hands of an enraged drunk. 

Or it may have been in 1968, when “the most trusted man in America”, Walter Cronkite, used truth and justice in the form of simple images to strip open the lies behind the Vietnam War, tarnishing the glow of The American Way and the legacy of World War II.

Eventually, little cracks of distrust began to appear as singers like Pete Seeger, Bob Dylan and Joan Baez to questioned the American Way. Hollywood, in films like Jaws, The Godfather, One Flew Over The Cuckoo’sNest, and Serpico created more cracks.

In 1973,  27 year old Donald Trump, a racist, wanna-be real estate tycoon and his real tycoon father were sued by the Federal Government for discrimination against black people. Instead of settling, under the tutelage of Roy Cohn (yep, that one) they attacked, smeared, and lied. And then settled.

The next year Tricky Dick Nixon was caught in the Watergate Scandal and fled the White House in disgrace. In later years, Bill Clinton took fellatio to new political heights. Bill Belichick made the Chicago Black Sox look like school kids. 

In 1987 Gordon Gekko’s famous line,  “Greed, for lack of a better word, is good!” in the film Wall Street marked a turning point in the culture as we began to accept lying, cheating and stealing as the new American Way. 

Today, we are a country awash in Roy Cohn – now Donald Trump – ethics. Canada and Europe distrust us. Mexico, Central and South America fear us. Scandinavia watches us like a grandparent protecting a newborn. 

Our own citizens now look upon Federal Police with fear, disgust, and fury. Anyone with brown or black skin is liable to be shipped to prison in another country. Even small kids are being kidnapped.

Our President, a mob boss and 34 time  convicted felon, has become a fountain of corruptions. He continues to try to undo the last election and sabotage the next one.  His Cabinet is incompetent and corrupt. With rare exceptions, Republicans in Congress stand by and watch it happen. 

As Europe and Scandinavia hold people accountable for Epstein connections, the US holds back millions of files.

In a little over 50 years, oligarchs like Musk and Bezos have started taking over capitalism and MAGA politicians are now threatening democracy. 

Have we become inured to lying, cheating, and stealing?

Is growing public anger at ICE, a corrupt President, Republican lackeys, and a sycophantic Supreme Court enough to turn the tide?

Does might make right, now? Or will right make might once again?

Will something as corny, but vital, to democracy, as Truth, Justice and the American Way return to favor?

I still believe in it. Do you? Do enough of us to save the country?

We can always hope…

…or vote.

(If you like this, pass it on. If you don't, pass it on anyway. Why should you suffer alone?)