My New Year’s Resolutions

I don’t like New Years Resolutions. They’re depressing. They remind me of the resolutions I made last year that didn’t make it past the bowl games.

Like being nicer to my neighbors (well, they were rooting for the other teams!). Or putting more money away for my old age (too old for that now). Or doing more writing (the problem is, in order to write you have to have something to say…). Or being nicer to 800 operators (too old for that, too). Or spending more time with my kids (What? When did they grow up? Who let them to move out of town? What!?)

But, it’s back again, New Year’s Eve. And nowhere to hide. So, here goes:

1) Thank my neighbor Mike for fixing the TV antenna. I cut cable and installed a digital antenna two years ago and the picture was never very good. Little wigglies kept appearing and the sound cut in and out. Happy to finally be rid of Comcast, I stubbornly retreated to streaming Netflix. But, as the bowl games approached recently, I got desperate. Knowing Mike is way smarter than me, I asked him to help. It took, maybe, 5 minutes for him move the signal booster from the TV to where the antenna came into the house. Presto! Now I have all channels and can still thumb my nose at Comcast. Thanks Mike!

And thanks to my other neightbors, Susan and Gene and the Lees and the rest, for their advice and friendship in spite of my charm and personality.

2) Try to be nicer to Trump fans. He is definitely going down this year (I hope) and I don’t want to gloat. That would be very unseemly. And besides a lot of his fans have guns.

3) Get a dog. Philo, my best friend ever – our family’s best friend ever – died a couple of years ago. Because of various reasons, including his special place in our hearts, I didn’t want another dog for awhile. But with the kids out of the nest and a propensity for long walks, it’s time.

4) Start that book I’ve always wanted to write. I’ve wanted to do that for years, but, without a deadline, something always came up. Dinner, phone calls, getting the computer fixed, learning the newest version of MS Word, mowing the lawn,.. dinner… Nope, this year I’ll do it. Now, what to write about…

5) Write and direct a play. That’s a lot easier. I already have a deadline. And a great story to tell. 

6) Tell my kids I love them. I’m one of those people who’s always figured actions speak louder than words. But the kids are getting older now. And I remembered recently a lesson I carefully taught them when they were still quite little: “use your words”.

7) Wash and wax the car more often. I know. I look lazy when I say that. But I have an excuse. It’s right here, somewhere…

8) Take up golf again. I played years ago, before my career and kids pre-empted 3 hour breaks. I wasn’t very good at driving or putting, but I was great at divots. Now, in semi-retirement, I actually need 3 hour activities. And where’s there’s a need, I always say.

9) Stop procrastinating and get more exercise. Yep. Get in shape again! Let’s see… Join a gym? Go for long walks? Yoga? Wow! I can’t wait to plan the perfect exercise regimen!

10) Fulfill these resolutions. It’s important to do what you say you’ll do, I always say, including New Year’s Resolutions. At least some of them. I’ll start right after the Bowl games.

Happy New Year, everyone!

(If you like this, pass it on. If you don't, pass it on anyway. Why should you suffer alone?)