In case you’ve been vacationing in the Carolinas for the last week, you might want to know that Republicans are trying to confirm US Appeals Court Judge Brett Kavanaugh for Supreme Court Justice. Like everything else in Congress today, his hearings are really just an extension of the war between Republicans and Democrat that has been waged since… well, the 1980’s.
Which is, interestingly, around the time 17 year old Brett Kavanaugh allegedly sexually assaulted 15 year old Christine Blasey.
And, in case you were in – I don’t know, Venezuela – before going to the Carolinas, you might want to know Senate Democrats are determined to torpedo Kavanaugh’s confirmation because, aside from hating all things Republican, they want revenge for Senate Leader Mitch McConnell’s stonewalling of Obama’s Supreme Court pick for 14 months. That’s 5 months longer than it takes to make a baby.
Which brings us back to teenage Brett Kavanaugh, who, according to (now) Professor Christine Blasey Ford, and to put it delicately, attempted to forcibly practice baby-making on her.
She writes that Judge Kavanaugh “physically pushed me into a bedroom”, and, along with his friend, Mark Judge (Yep, his real name- you can’t make this up, folks) “locked the door and played loud music precluding any successful attempt to yell for help”. Then “Kavanaugh was on top of me …They both laughed as Kavanaugh tried to disrobe me…put his hand over my mouth…”.
Apparently it was so much fun that drunken Judge jumped on top of drunken Kavanaugh, who was already on top of terrified Blasey, whereupon “the pile toppled,… and I was able to take this opportune moment to get up and run across to a hallway bathroom.”
As evidence she provided her therapist’s notes from 2012 and a recent lie detector test, given by an ex-FBI agent, which she passed.
The Republicans now have to defend Kavanaugh. I see possible six lines of defense for them:
1) “He said; she said”. Judge Kavanaugh denies it all. He cites her lack of specificity about the location and date, and claims she imagined it or confused him with another guy. His friend Mark Judge refuses to testify. The risk: Because Mark won’t testify, its his word vs her lie-detector test and 2012 therapist’s report.
2) “I was drunk.” Kavanaugh admits to memory problems from drunken blackouts as a teenager and “I don’t recall ever doing that and I am not that kind of guy.” The risk: the possibility of a blackout drinker on the Supreme Court.
3) “Statute of Limitations”. The “Statute of Limitations” is past and everyone is “innocent until proven guilty”, so he’s innocent until…. forever. Risk: None of that disproves her accusation or facts.
4) “Different time; different rules”. It was just a loutish teenage pass, and what is considered criminal now was simply considered bad behavior then. The risk: As a judge, will he uphold yesterday’s standards or today’s?
5) “Boys will be boys”. A variation of #2 and #4, this could be supported by the recent knowledge that a person’s brain isn’t fully developed until age 24 or 25. The risk: that requires a full mea culpa from Kavanaugh.
6) “The Conspiracy Response”. This can range from small (the Democrats waited until the 11th hour to bring this up) to large (Ford, her shrink, even the ex-FBI lie-detector operator, are actors.) Regardless, the whole thing’s a scam. They refuse an FBI investigation. The risk: a scam? Really?
As for the Democrats, without a thorough FBI investigation or witnesses to question, they have only one option:
Senator: “Judge Kavanaugh, we’d like your opinion on a case involving a 53 year old man and a 51 year old woman. She says the man sexually assaulted her when he was 17 and she was 15 – and his friend witnessed it. Her story has been verified by a lie detector test given by an ex-FBI agent and a therapist from an interview 6 years ago.
Kavanaugh: “As a judicial candidate, I can’t respond to hypothetical cases.”
Senator: “Yes, you’ve told us that many times. This is not a hypothetical case. It’s real.”
Senator: “The 53 year old denies the entire event, categorically. His friend says he doesn’t “recollect” anything, but refuses to testify.”
Kavanaugh: “As a judicial candidate, I cannot comment on an on-going case that I might, at some future date, have to decide.”
Senator: “Good point, Judge. But this case can’t go to court; it’s past the statute of limitations.”
Senator: “So, based on those facts, as an experienced and principled judge, would you have reasonable doubt about making this man a Supreme Court Justice?”